Penny Profits

November 7, 2013
J.C. Penney reports first monthly sales increase since 2011

J.C. Penney Co. said Thursday that a 0.9 percent increase in October same-store sales, its first year-over-year monthly increase in almost two years, signals “meaningful progress in its turnaround.”

0.9 percent is almost exactly what apparel inflation has done over the past year. Way to go JC Penney! Very impressive!

The increase in sales wasn’t due to more customers or higher prices; Penney reported that store traffic and per-item prices were still down from a year ago.

Probably best if existing JC Penney employees did not demand a raise at the present time. Just sayin'.

But profitability took a hit from all the clearance merchandise and the chain’s aggressive return to coupons and discounts.

We're certainly getting an early start this year. This economy's poised for clearance! Everything must go!

Speaking of demanding a raise...

November 7, 2013
Washington city votes to raise minimum wage to $15

The SeaTac initiative will raise the minimum wage to $15 an hour for hospitality and transportation workers in and near Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. The current minimum wage in Washington State is $9.19.

This measure was strongly supported by SeaTac's many, many hospitality and transportation workers. Go figure. I'm just a bit surprised that it was only a 63% increase. Surely people willing to vote themselves $15 per hour would also be willing to accept $18.38. Double or nothing next time!

Where is the frickin' Free Maple Donut Fridays ballot measure? Do I have to do everything myself? Surely it would be popular! Who doesn't love free stuff! Every business should be required to provide free maple donuts to anyone who asks, but only on Fridays. No need to be greedy here.

The naysayers may insist that there may be a few unintended consequences. Some may wish to hoard a week's worth of donuts every Friday. Free donuts for life? Others may not trust that the measure would stay in effect forever and hoard even more than a week's worth at a time. Are those really problems though? Think of the increased freezer sales adding to GDP!

And what about the increased energy usage? Not a problem! Free Electricity Mondays! Coming soon to a ballot near you! Exponentially increasing unintended consequences offer exponentially increasing intended solutions! We just need to stay on top of them and manage this economy from crisis to crisis, just like we have been doing!


File:Bacon donut.jpg (Mike McCune)

Are you with me? Hell yes! Let us eat maple donuts!